


Happiness is a Warm Vulcan

by StarSHIPofSpaceHusbands



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff and Angst, Genius!Kirk, Genius!Spock, M/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2013-02-15
Packaged: 2017-11-28 02:58:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/669502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarSHIPofSpaceHusbands/pseuds/StarSHIPofSpaceHusbands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk and Spock are in high school together. Kirk takes Spock under his proverbial wing, if you will, until they realize there is so much more than friendship between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"July 16th, 1969."

"Very good, Mr. Spock!"

Spock sat down, expresionless as ever, while the other children shot him dirty looks. A notoriously unruly boy named Finnegan whispered a colloquial insult that Spock was unable to define. The Vulcan was not supposed to hear the insult, but, due to his advanced hearing ability, he had heard it quite clearly. The imbecile was unaware of Vulcan physiology, naturally, as many humans were, so he was not at all surprised when Spock's face held no evidence that he had, in fact, heard his insult. A golden-haired boy, the boy to whom the comment was whispered, did not seem at all amused by the remark. In fact, Spock could swear that the boy--James T. Kirk ("Jim" for short)--became cold at the comment and whispered, "shut up" just a little too loudly.

Spock noticed the blood rush to his ears, making the pointed tips turn slightly green.

Illogical.

Spock sat alone in the cafeteria as usual, raising an unsatisfied brow at what the lunch lady dared to call a salad. Spock's brown eyes swept about the room, making all sorts of observations and calculations, until his eyes unexpectedly met those of stunning, cobalt blue. Spock looked away; he was blushing.  _Illogical_ , he thought to himself. Spock was considering the possible explanations of the sudden blood flow to his face when Kirk approached the table.

"May I sit?"

Spock came to the conclusion that the flush of his visage was only due to the unexpected eye contact and not to the person whith whom he locked eyes, so he pushed the thought aside. Contemplating Jim's highly illogical request, Spock raised a customary brow. "Your request is illogical. Why must you request my permission? I have no control in the matter. You don't ask me if you are allowed to sit when we are in class."

Jim processed this, translated it in a way. He flashed a captivating smile that indicated his understanding. "Allow me to rephrase that. May I join you? Sit next to you?"

"You do not wish to sit with your friend Leonard McCoy?"

"Nah. He's reading some boring medical journal and telling me the graphic effects of the Ebola virus. Not exactly table talk."

Spock had previously observed how most humans became squeamish upon discussing certain things, especially at mealtimes. He offered the chair in front of him to Kirk. Kirk sat down and placed a brown paper bag on the table. He took out a ham sandwich that had been sloppily wrapped in plastic and began to remove it. He stopped opening his meal when he realized that Spock had not taken a single bite of his food; he was merely staring at his 'salad.' "Yeah, school food's pretty gross," he siad understandingly. "You want some?" he added, brandishing his sandwich at Spock.

"No, thank you. Vulcans are vegetarians," he explained politely. Normally the whole vegetarian excuse was irritating to Jim because many kids his age would brag about their diet, putting on a holier-than-thou attitude. The vegans were worse. Jim chuckled at the thought, remembering many a McCoy rant about the dangers of vegetarian and vegan diets. Spock had no such attitude, however, which was refreshing. Vegetarianism was merely the Vulcan way, and Spock seemed to think no less of Kirk for eating meat, since that was the human way.

Jim's chuckle did not go unnoticed by Spock, but Spock ignored it--he knew Jim had been reflecting on something that was undoubtedly amusing.  Kirk would never laugh at him. Many kids at Starfleet High laughed at Spock--practically every person he had ever met, in fact--but not Kirk. Not Jim.

"I have a banana you can have, if you'd like."

"I do not wish to take your food. You require it more than I, since you are a male human in the adolescent period, which means you need an abundance of food. I am what humans have often called a 'light eater,' so it will be alright if I skip this meal, Mr. Kirk."

Jim guffawed at such a title. "'Mr. Kirk'? I'm not a fuckin'  _teacher_ , Spock. Ease up. Call me Jim. All my friends do," he smiled, pushing the banana across the table to Spock. "Lack of nutrition is known to inhibit mental potential," he added, appealing to the logical boy in Spock.

Spock refrained from smiling. No one has ever called him a friend before. Most kids at the school--on this planet--ridiculed him. They wouldn't be caught dead calling Spock their friend. James Kirk was popular, having a friend in Spock could ruin his reputation, but he didn't care.  _He didn't care._ Spock was comforted by this.  _Friend._ He stopped himself.  _Illogical...Perhaps not: friendships have often proved to be beneficial..._

 _  
_"Take the banana, Spock."

Spock snapped out of his thoughts, accepting the banana gratefully. He was indeed hungry, despite his efforts to refuse Kirk's offer. He began to peel the banana when Finnegan approached the table, flanked by two chubby, sweaty kids. He walked over to the table with a sneer, actions that were copied by his cronies, and jeered, "Hey, faggot."

Spock was undoubtedly confused. There was that colloquialism again. In ancient Rome, a bundle of sticks was referred to as a 'faggot,' but he didn't think that definition applied here.

"Shut up, Finnegan," Kirk said, lips and knuckles white from angry pressurization.

"Aww look, the little Vulcan fag's got a faggot friend."

Spock was flummoxed once again. He noticed that people of the British region of Earth called their cigarettes 'fags,' though he knew that definition did not apply here either. He concluded that 'fag' was an abbreviation of 'faggot,' although the meaning of the colloquialism still escaped him.

"I am unaware of the definition of that term, Finnegan."

Finnegan laughed violently and taunted, "Denial!"

Kirk's face was hot with rage and a hint of embarassment. "He doesn't know that that means, Finnegan. Leave him alone," he said through gritted teeth.

Finnegan started making kissy noises, which caused laughter to erupt from his lackeys before they started to make the noises themselves. "Looks like Kirk's got a new buttbuddy. Funny, we always thought it would be McCoy. No wonder you defended this little half-breed freak in class. You  _love_ him! How will you break it to McCoy that Spock's your new--"

"Shut  _up!_ " Kirk threw a punch at Finnegan, forcing him to the floor. Finnegan got up, nose bleeding and newly broken, and threw a fist at Kirk. Kirk blocked the punch and pushed Finnegan back. Finnegan retaliated by running at Kirk, which catalyzed a wrestling match between the two. Finnegan's friends started to intervene, but Spock got up and defeated them with only one action for each: the Vulcan neck pinch. Spock decided to perform this act on Finnegan as well, pinching the appropriate spot of his shoulder.

Kirk panted and rubbed his face in his hands. "Thanks," he breathed.

"No need to thank me, Jim," Spock replied.

Kirk smiled. "Yes, I do. I also need to work on your ego."

Spock raised a brow and said, "Ego, Jim?"

"You're too modest. You don't give yourself enough credit."

"I give credit where credit is due. I am highly aware of my abilities. My intellect surpasses that of my peers, I have been dubbed a 'genius' by human standards, I--"

"Everyone's aware of that, " he said, swatting the comment aside, "You just don't know how nice you are. You're one of the good ones, Spock."

The bell sounded before Spock could reply.  _One of the good whats?_ He wondered. 

"Well, I gotta go. I've got advanced quantum physics next, and I have to make sure I catch all of Mr. Jamison's mistakes." Kirk grinned with cocky charisma, slapped Spock on the shoulder, and said, "Later!"

 _Advanced quantum physics?_ That was a class that only those in their senior year were allowed to take at SH. Kirk was a junior, which meant that he must be very advanced as well as very persuasive to be permitted to take such a highly-exclusive class.  _And he corrected the teacher's mistakes?_ Surely a teacher at a school such as this one would make mistakes only a certain few could catch. Spock knew that Kirk was serious about his claim, no matter how jokingly he delivered it. Spock had already taken the course at his previous school on Vulcan before he was transferred into Starfleet High. In fact, he had already taken most of the classes his new school offered, which was why Spock would be graduating this year. This was Spock's second year of high school, his first at SH, which meant that he would be graduating in only half the time most people did. The school system was different at Vulcan Science High: his education was rigorous in mathematics and science, but had little to offer in the arts. He had played the harp and studied art on his own time, primarily music, but SH insisted that he take classes in the 'humanities.' He had to take history (Earth history--he knew Vulcan history of course), art, and physical education to meet his graduation requirements. Spock did not require foreign language classes because he, naturally, surpassed the standards. Normally he would also be required to take health, but Spock composed a very persuasive argument explaining how it was an illogical waste of his time, since he was a Vuclan. He was half human, true, but his Vulcan ancestry dominated his physicality. He used to think it dominated his emotions as well, but he had never been so wrong.

____________________

The only class that Spock shared with Kirk was history. Kirk had fulfilled his physical education requirement during his first year at SH, but fueled his athletic fire with sports. He was on the school's soccer team and was apparently one of the best players (if not the best player) the team had. This won him the attention and admiration of many of the boys at school and, of course, the ladies. Spock knew this because he had observed how illogically the women acted around Kirk; he would hear the whispers of 'he's so cute!' as Kirk walked past them, and they would all but swoon when he flashed that knee-buckling grin. Spock also noticed the awe and admiration that this 'stud' (as he had been called so many times) evoked from his male peers, hearing them constantly  ask questions like, 'Did you fuck her?' with massive grins on their faces.

Plus, Jim had a girlfriend.

Spock did not know Jim's girlfriend. He knew that her name was Nyota and that she went to a different school to pursue an advanced education in linguistics. Spock had seen a picture of her once in Jim's locker, where they always met before and after history class.

"Who is this?" Spock had asked.

"She's my girlfriend, Nyota," Kirk had said, smiling like always.

"I see," Spock had said, noting the beautiful dark skin, elegant ponytal, and charming smile.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Kirk had asked, rhetorically of course. "Really nice, too. You'd like her."

Spock had a feeling that he would not, in fact, 'like her.' Spock classified the thought as illogical, since he had never met the girl and therefore could not make that sort of judgment, and discarded the notion from his mind.

____________________

"Hey, Spock! I have a soccer game today at three. Wanna come watch?"

Spock considered this. He was aware that this was a thing that friends did to support each other, so he agreed. 

"Great!" Kirk beamed. "And hey! Nyota'll be there!"

Now the prospect of going seemed less appealing to Spock, but Kirk crushed all hopes he had of declining by saying, "I really want you to meet her Spock," just a tad seriously, which was a bit out of character for him. He snapped back into his usual excitable self and added, "It'll be fun! And hey! I'm going to have a party at my house after. You should come!" Kirk noticed Spock's distaste at the thought of a party, laughed, and said, "I insist, Spock. It would be not fun without you."

Spock's brow shot up as he said, "Most people find that I am a retardant of the human concept of fun. I have often been told that I am a 'stick in the mud,' a 'buzz kill,' or that I 'suck the fun out of everything.'"

Kirk laughed, as Spock expected him to do so. "Most people are idiots. You're great, Spock," Kirk said with a reassuring smile.

McCoy apprached and said, "Hey, Jim. We've got to head over to Mrs. Smith's class. She's a real bitch if we're late." He looked over at Spock and spat a "Hello, Spock" with every degree of distaste.

Spock and McCoy had met due to Kirk, naturally. Kirk had found his first lunch with Spock to be rather enjoyable before Finnegan and his friends showed up, so he decided to make it a daily thing. He invited Spock to sit with him and McCoy at lunch from then on. Spock politely remarked that he did not want to intrude on Kirk's normal lunch habits, but Kirk insisted, sticking put his lower lip in a playful pout until Spock agreed. So, Spock followed Kirk to his and McCoy's table, taking his place in the chair next to Kirk.

"Bones, this is Spock. He's new. I thought he'd be a good addition to our lunch table. Spock, this is bones."

"How do you do," McCoy sighed more than asked, clearly distracted by the math equation he had in front of him. "A _hah!_ " He exlaimed. "I got it! The limit is negative one!"

Spock had already looked at and solved the problem with which McCoy had found such difficulty and immediately noticed the error. "Actually," he corrected, "the limit does not exist."

Bones looked up angrily. How dare this newcomer tell him how to do math? "Of  _course_ the limit exists! See?" McCoy showed Spock his PADD, work reckless and unorganized.

Spock took the PADD and neatly redid the work, showing McCoy as he went along. "You see," he said calmly, "If the limit never approaches anything, which is the case for this particular problem, the limit does not exist." Spock offered the PADD to McCoy, who snatched it out of Spock's hands.

McCoy looked over the work, face flushed with rage. Spock was right, of course, there was no denying that, so McCoy attempted to have the last word by saying, "I didn't ask  _you_."

"Quite the contrary, Leonard. You, in fact, thrust your PADD at me and asked if I could see your reasoning. I am afraid that I would have been unable to see your reasoning even if your work had been correct, for your organization was quite sloppy and your penmanship resembles that of a stereotypical doctor."

Kirk was beaming throughout this entire encounter, but was grinning even wider now, letting out a hearty laugh. Bones had been served.

____________________


	2. Chapter 2

Kirk's soccer game went very well. During the game, Spock noted Kirk's unmatched physical prowess; the game seemed to comenaturally to him. Spock was reminded of the famous Earth saying 'float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.' That is exactly what James Kirk did.

"Hey Spock!" A rather sweaty Kirk exlaimed, slapping Spock's shoulder. "We won!"

Spock's brow shot up at this. " _We_ , Jim? I had no part in your win, therefore I should not be credited."

Kirk gave his usual, good-hearted laugh. "It's just how we say things around here. You go to this school, the school's team won, so everyone at the school says, 'we won!' People do that for other sports teams they root for, too."

"Fascinating. Humans seem to value high levels of comradery."

Kirk smiled and replied, "Only with those who matter."

Spock refrained himself from  gazing into those incredibly blue eyes.  _I matter?_ , he mused. He decided to ask in order to confirm this. "Jim, are you implying that I fall into that category?"

Kirk looked almost offended. "Of course, Spock! I thought I made that quite clear." Kirk gave him a scrutinizing look, wanting to know why Spock would even ask such a question.

"I didn't think I mattered to anyone," Spock admitted quietly.

"You matter to me, Spock." Kirk looked at him seriously for a moment, clearly concerned. "You matter to me." Kirk snapped out of the intensity and added, somewhat awkwardly, "So the party's at eight. If you come early, say around six, we could play video games or something."

"Do you have chess?"

Kirk looked almost embarrassed. "I have all kinds of chess. It's my guilty pleasure."

Spock's brow shot into its familiar position. "Why do you find guilt in chess?"

Kirk shuffled his feet and said, "It's kind of a nerdy thing to be obsessed with."

"Do you mind if we play it? Or will it embarass you?"

"No, no. I'd love to play with you!"

"Alright then." Kirk started to leave until Spock said, "Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"You claim that your liking of chess is 'nerdy,' yet you are a junior in advanced quantum physics. Is that not 'nerdy'?"

Kirk laughed. "Different kind of nerdy, Spock." He began walking away but turned on his heels and added, "You know something, Spock?"

There was Spock's usual brow again. "I know lots of things, Jim. To what are you referring in particular?"

"You're amazing." And with that, Kirk was gone.

Which was good because Spock was blushing madly.

 

____________________

James Kirk played an illogical yet highly effective game of chess.

Spock noticed this when he had him in check for their three games, and Kirk acted unpredictably each time, defeating Spock with that familiar, cocky grin on his face.

"Told you I was obsessed."

Spock hid all traces of irritation, but Kirk saw right through him.

"Irritated, Spock?" he teased.

There was a knock at the door before Spock could reply. Kirk got up, let McCoy in, and said, "You're early, Bones."

"So is this hobgoblin."

"I  _invited_ him to come early,  _you_  just barged in unannounced. Nothing I'm not used to," Kirk teased. 

Bones grumbled. "I see you beat the half-breed at chess."

Kirk's face became wooden. "That's  _enough_ , Bones."

Bones was taken aback by this sudden change of character, glanced from Kirk to Spock, and grumbled, "sorry."

"That's better," Kirk said. "So!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands together, "Guests should be arriving soon." Kirk anticipated Spock's distaste, looked at him, and said, "You;re not going anywhere."

"You seem to have a way of persuading me into doing things I would otherwise not do," Spock almost complained.

Kirk laughed. "All in a day's work."

 

____________________

The party was loud, rambunctious, and nothing short of obnoxious. The amount of people and noise present made Spock uncomfortable, so he followed Kirk like a shy, curious lamb. Eventually his journey led him to Nyota, and Kirk slung his arm around her and said, "Spock! This is Nyota!"

"A Vulcan!" she marveled, forming her fingers into the customary Vulcan salute, "Live long and prosper."

Spock returned the salute and Kirk looked between them, clearly confused by the exchange.

"It's Vulcan custom," Nyota explained, smiling.

"I must say that I find your knowledge of my people somewhat refreshing. I constantly have to endure hearing rude comments about myself and my appearance because people are ignorant of my advanced hearing ability. I also have been forced into many handshakes and..."

Nyota clapped a hand to her mouth and gasped, eyes and smile bright with sympathetic amusement.

Kirk looked between them. "What?"

Nyota couldn't stop giggling, which caused a smile to almost creep across Spock's face, but he fought it away.

" _What?_ " Kirk insisted.

"Vulcans kiss with her hands," Nyota explained, composing herself, "so every time he was forced into a handshake..."

Kirk couldn't help but laughing, too. "Aww, shit, Spock. You're a regular slut!" he joked.

"I'm glad an account of my dreadful endurance has evoked such amusement."

Kirk smiled innocently and said, "I'm sorry, Spock. You know I'm easily amused." 

Nyota looked between the two, clearly making some observations of her own. Spock and Kirk were too busy looking at each other to notice.  

"Jim, if you don't mind, I would like to leave. I wish to meditate. The noise and boisterous attitude of this party has been taxing."

Kirk smiled, "I guess I've tortured you enough. You've been a joy as always." Kirk gave the salute he had just learned. "Live long and prosper, Spock."

"I am grateful for your invitation and hospitality. You are most kind." Spock returned the salute and said, "Live long and prosper."

 

____________________

 


	3. Chapter 3

"So, how do you like Spock?"

Nyota smiled and replied, "He's great. And very polite."

Kirk smiled fondly. "Yeah. I feel bad for the kid, though. He constantly gets teased. I'm his only friend, but he seems...insecure. Though he'd never admit that. I feel like he doesn't know how awesome he is, which sucks 'cause he's so cool. Really funny, too. He gives Bones a run for his money. Bones doesn't know why I befriended Spock. I have to admit that I'm not really sure either. I was just sort of...drawn to him, you know?"

Nyota could not conceal her massive grin. Kirk looked at her and said, "What?"

Nyota chuckled. " _I_ know, but do  _you?_ "

"What?"

"You said, 'I was just sort of...drawn to him, you know?' I do know, but do you?"

Kirk was completely stumped. "Alright, Nyota. Give it up. What are you implying?"

"Oh come  _on,_ James. Are you honestly telling me that you don't know? You don't even have an inkling as to why?"

"No. There was just something about him that made me want to be his friend." Nyota was giggling, which furthered Kirk's frustration. " _What?_ " he demanded.

"You were attracted to him. Still are, in fact."

Kirk stepped back at this in shock. "W- _what?_ Where did you even get that?"

Nyota put on a playfully pensive expression, "Hmm...let's see...it's not like he's all you talk about. It's not like you look at him every chance you get. It's not like you always have to find an excuse to be by his  _side_ or anything."

Kirk was a tad angry and said, "Quit the sarcasm, Nyota. It isn't funny. I'm not like that."

Nyota quit her joking attitude when she looked at Kirk. "What happened?"

Kirk ran his hand through his hair and said, " _what?_ " He was clearly exasperated now.

Nyota placed a hand on Kirk's wrist fondly. "Why are you in such denial? I know you. You don't act like this unless something's really bothering you."

"I'm bothered by being accused of something that isn't true!"

"Remember the first time we made out?"

"Of-of course. Why..."

"Whose name did you call out?"

" _What?_ "

"You heard me. I remember. We were really getting into it, and you said--"

"You  _heard_ that?"

"I thought it was just some weird codeword or something. I didn't know--"

"It was an accident!"

" _Both times?_ "

Kirk blushed madly and stamped his foot. "It can't be this way!"

"Why?"

"BECAUSE OF FINNEGAN!" Kirk was shocked by this explosion and breathed heavily.

"Finnegan?"

Kirk sighed dejectedly, rubbing his right hand through his hair. "He keeps calling Spock a fag and me a fag for just  _talking_ to him. I got into a fight with Finnegan just for  _defending_ Spock, and I would have been toast when his friends started to intervene if Spock hadn't saved my ass with that Vulcan...thing.  Could you imagine what he'd do if we actually dated? It's not even true anyway!"

Nyota was appalled by the story. "That  _ass_ hole! People are just awful! Well, who needs them, James? Who cares?"

"You don't  _understand_ , Nyota. I can't be gay. I  _can't_ like Spock. It would ruin...everything."

"James, I know you've had it tough. Think about it, though. How much better would it be if you had someone like Spock? You guys are two halves to a whole. You complete each other, James. I've never seen anything like it."

"Well why didn't you tell me?"

"We haven't seen each other in a while, plus I needed to give you time."

"Sorry about that, Spock and I--"

Nyota raised a brow at him, which caused him to frown. "It's not like that!"

"When you intoduced me to him, you couldn't keep your eyes off him! Every time we've all hung out together since, it's been the same. I'm sorry that people have been giving you shit, but that's not a good enough excuse. You guys are good for each other."

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine, I promise. We both knew we were more friends than lovers anyway."

"But...Nyota...I can't just... _kiss_ him in public. I can't just...it would ruin..."

Nyota glared at him, "If you are going to let what unimportant people think triumph over the most important person to you, then you are not the James Kirk I thought you were."

 

 

____________________

"Hey Spock! Wanna work on the history project together?"

"I normally work alone, Jim." Kirk looked disappointed so Spock added hastily, "but there's a first time for everything."

Kirk laughed, "You're a real catch, Spock. So you wanna just meet up with me after school and walk to my house?"

"Might I remind you that the project isn't due until next week?"

"Well it's always good to get a good start. I thought that would appeal to you, Spock," Kirk said, grinning.

"Very well, Jim. Where shall we meet?"

"How about by the flagpole out front? Say around 3:30?"

"That would suffice."

"Great! See you then!"

When 3:30 rolled around, Spock was waiting patiently by the flagpole. Kirk strolled up at 3:32, carrying a heavy backpack

"So!" he said, as jovial as ever, "Shall we go?"

"Let's."

Kirk and Spock walked down the street in silence until Spock asked, "How's Nyota?"

Kirk looked surprised and almost worried.  _Did he know?_ "Wh-why?"

"I thought it would be common courtesy to ask. Also, she's a lovely girl who's important to you, so I'm interested in her well-being."

"Oh. She's great. We're doing...great."

"Are you alright, Jim?"

"I'm fine, Spock. Jeez, what will it take to shut you up?"

Spock fell silent, not looking at all offended, yet Kirk felt as if he had just told a child that Santa wasn't real. "I'm sorry, Spock. I didn't mean it. I like talking to you."

"I am the one who should be apologizing, Jim. I should not be so demanding to learn things so personal."

"No, no, Spock. I overreacted." Kirk stopped walking for a second. "Look at me, Spock." Spock obeyed and Kirk put his hand on Spock's shoulder. "You did nothing wrong."

Spock wondered if Jim was hiding something from him, but decided not to ask, so he instead replied with, "Okay."

"Here we are! Shall we?"

The two walked up to Kirk's door. Kirk took out his keys, unlocked the door, and walked in. "Mom?" he called, looking around. "Guess we're alone," he said casually, throwing his backpack onto a chair. "Want anything? A snack  maybe?"

Spock placed his bag gently beside Kirk's and said, "Do you have tea?"

Kirk smiled. "Do you even need to ask that? You've been over enough to know the answer to that."

"Precisely, Jim. Since I've been over so many times, I was making sure I hadn't drank all of your tea."

Kirk laughed heartily, "Oh my God! You just made a joke. Jeez, Spock. You're something else." He winked in his usual friendly manner and made his way to the kitchen.

Which was good because Spock couldn't hide his smile.

"What kind of tea do you want?" called Kirk from the kitchen.

Spock smiled once again, knowing just what answer Kirk would enjoy the most. "Surprise me."

"Wow, Spock. You are most daring," he teased, "One surprise coming up!"

While Kirk was making the tea, Spock retrieved his bag, opened it, and removed all his school supplies, placing them in a neat row. He did the same with Kirk's supplies, placing their bags carefully back onto the chair.

Kirk walked into the living room, carrying two mugs of tea. Here you go, Spock, he said, handing a mug to him. Spock took the mug, smelled the tea, shot a brow, and said, "What kind of tea is it?" somewhat suspiciously.

"Now, Spock, you said you wanted to be surprised!" he admonished teasingly.

Spock tilted his head with a bit of snark, planced the tea cup to his lips, and drank. "Hmm..." he mused, "I seem to be unfamiliar with this particular type of tea."

"It's English Breakfast tea. A personal favorite of mine."

Spock took another taste. "You have good taste, Jim."

Kirk smiled and took a sip of his own tea. He looked at the supplies Spock had arranged, laughed, and said, "You did this?"

Spock raised a brow. "I suppose that's a rhetorical question."

Kirk erupted in laughter. "God, Spock! You kill me! You're just so... _sassy_. I love it. Don't ever change."

Spock's face turned slightly greener, so he looked down. "I don't intend to."

Kirk looked at him for a moment and suddenly felt a twinge in his stomach. He remembered what Nyota had said and became angry. She was right. "Fuck," Kirk thought out loud.

"What?" Spock asked, concerned.

"Shit. Did I say that aloud?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, Spock, it's just...Have you ever kissed someone before?"

"I assume you are referring to the human way of kissing, since you know I have had many unfortunate Vulcan kisses. I must admit that I have not kissed in the way about which you are asking."

"Would you like to try it?"

"Wh--what?"

Kirk leaned over and kissed Spock, trembling all the while. In that moment, Spock felt a sudden rush of emotion he could not control nor name. Kirk broke the kiss, noticed the shock on Spock's face, and said, "Shit, I'm...I'm sorry, Spock."

Spock touched a finger to his own lips. "Fascinating."

"Look, Spock, I'm--"

"As much as I enjoyed that, Jim, I do not wish you to be unfailthful to Nyota."

 _He enjoyed that? He feels the same..._ "Nyota and I umm...terminated our relationship, Spock. I lied to you."

"Why?"

"We broke up because she...it wasn't working out for us. And then she mentioned you...We're still friends and all that, but she said..."

There was a silence, but Spock waited patiently for him to continue. Kirk ran his hand through his hair, looked at the supplies on the floor, and said, "You know what? We can do this later. I just rembered I have a lot of homework to do, so..."

"Perhaps I can be of assistance?"

 _This Vulcan cannot take a hint._ "Go home, Spock. Please. I'd...I'd like you to leave."

Spock was a bit saddened by this, but did not let it show. "Very well, Jim," he said in his natural tone. He gave Kirk his unfinished tea, collected his belongings, and left.

When Spock closed the door behind him, Kirk looked at the mug Spock had handed him and sighed.

_What have I done?_

 

 

  
_  
_____________________

 


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Spock did not join Kirk and McCoy for lunch.

"Whare's the half-breed?" McCoy asked without a trace of interest.

"Shut up, Bones."

McCoy's expression turned from indifferent to worrisome. "You okay, Jim?"

"Fuck off," Kirk said icily.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I haven't seen you this angry since you watched  _The Phantom Menace_. What's up?" _  
_

"This isn't a fuckin' _joke_ , Bones." _  
_

"Jim, wh--"

"I did something bad."

McCoy pondered this for a moment, but was stumped. "What did you do?"

Kirk thought for a moment, rubbing his hands on his face. He dropped his hands, drummed his fingers on the table, and glared at his meal.

"I don't think the answer lies in your food, Jim."

"Leave it alone, Bones."

"Jim--"

"I said leave it a _lone!_ " Kirk exclaimed as he slammed his fist onto the table.

McCoy was taken aback by Kirk's sudden hostility toward him. He and Kirk had gotten into fights before, but Kirk had never gotten close to being this angry.

"Can we just...can we just talk about something else?" he pleaded softly.

"Sure, Jim," McCoy replied gently. "I know!" he added, suddenly perked up, "I never did finish telling you about the Ebola virus!"

"No, no  _no_ ," Kirk complained as McCoy grinned gleefully.

____________________

"Hey Spock! Spock!"

Kirk noticed Spock as he was walking home from school. Spock clearly heard him, but decided to ignore his shouting.

"I know you can hear me, Spock! Don't pretend you can't! I know about Vulcan ears!"

Spock stopped dead in his tracks and turned around. Kirk caught up with him. Panting, he said, "Why didn't you come to lunch today? I saw you in history class."

Spock raised his brow and replied, "I assumed since you requested I leave your house yesterday that our friendship had been terminated."

Kirk looked almost devastaded at those words. He ran his hand through his hair nervously and said, "Spock, I...Shit, I uh..." He cleared his throat and attempted to speak again. "I'm umm...I'm sorry about that, I...I didn't know that umm..."

"Didn't know what, Jim?"

"That I was...that way," he answered tentatively.

A raised brow was Spock's only reply, but it was enough for Kirk to get the message. "I didn't know I was  _gay_ , Spock. You know, like, a homosexual and all. Well, maybe not  _homo_ sexual, but uh...you get the idea." _  
_

"I was also unaware that you had homosexual tendencies."

Kirk laughed nervously. "Yeah, um...sorry about that." Kirk was blushing furiously.

"Sorry for what, Jim?"

Kirk looked almost shocked. "That I umm...kissed you."

Spock looked at his feet and whispered, "Oh."

 _  
_"No, no no! I didn't mean it like that! I just...aww, fuck."

Kirk leaned in and kissed Spock, but Spock pulled away. "Is physical contact your only means of communication?" he said almost indignantly.

Kirk was undoubtedly flustered, "Wh--"

"Jim, the last time you kissed me, you asked me to leave your home; I do not wish for this to be a recurring phenomenon."

"Spock, I didn't mean to hurt you, it's just..."

"What?"

"You wouldn't understand," Kirk said, apathetically placing his face in his hand.

"Because I have no friends to disappoint?" he said cooly

Kirk was amazed by Spock's reasoning skills, "How did you--"

"I'm not stupid, Jim."

These words hurt Kirk greatly. They stood in silence for a while, Kirk breathing more heavily than normal. "What the hell do we do now?" Kirk whined, finally breaking the silence.

"I have a suggestion."

Kirk was relieved. "Yes?"

"Since we do not wish to terminate our friendship, we are undoubtedly attracted to one another, and you wish to maintain your, pardon my colloquialism, 'studly' reputation, I suggest we have our little _arrangements_ in secret."

"Arrangments?"

Spock's brow shot up; he knew Kirk understood his phrasing.

"I wanna hear you say it," Kirk smiled.

"Say what?"

Kirk playfully got down on one knee and said, "Will you be my secret boyfriend?"

Spock's brow was amused this time as he lifted Kirk back on his feet and said, "I will."

"Ah-ah-ah! I want you to say it."

"Say what, Jim?"

"The words."

"What 'words'?"

"'I will be your secret boyfriend.'"

"If I am using the phrase correctly, I would advise you not to 'push it,' Jim."

Kirk's smile was full of fondness as he kissed Spock's cheek. "Say it and I'll give you the real thing."

Spock's face turned slightly green as he said quietly, "I will be your secret boyfriend."

Kirk smiled and kissed the tip of Spock's ear.

"Although that was enjoyable, it was not, as you say, 'the real thing.'"

Kirk planted a kiss on Spock's lips. "Better?" he said, grinning.

Spock gave just an inkling of a smile as he said, "Quite."

____________________

Spock's return to the lunch table was welcomed by all but McCoy.

"Hello there, Bones!" Kirk said jovially as he sat next to him, his ulterior motive for this action being the ability to ogle his new secret boyfriend. Spock sat down in front of Kirk, his intentions the same (although he would never admit to that).

"Oh, joy," McCoy grumbled.

"It is  _always_ a pleasure to see you, McCoy."

"Was that sarcasm I heard? Surely a Vulcan wouldn't--"

"I must remind you that I am half human, Leonard," he said as he met Kirk's amused gaze.

McCoy looked between them, confused by the overly-fond energy. He was used to their normal energy, but this time it seemed over-joyous. McCoy decided to ignore it and said, "Thanks for refreshing my memory" quite sarcastically himself.

"Now, now, you two. Play nice," Kirk teased with his usual charm.

The rest of lunch was pretty silent, but that didn't stop Kirk and Spock from looking at each other for long moments and then briskly looking away. It also didn't stop McCoy from noticing these encounters and rolling his eyes as he drank his Coke. 

A few girls walked by and looked at Kirk, giggled, looked away, and whispered, 'Oh my gosh he looked at me!' Spock looked at Kirk and said, "You humans could really use a lesson in discretion."

McCoy could not pass up the opportunity. "Humans are not the only species that could use that lesson, Spock," he said, grinning.

"What is it exactly that you are impl--"

The bell rang, cutting off Spock's retort and avoiding a rather awkward situation.

____________________

The three were standing at Kirk's locker, waiting for him to collect his things. Ignoring McCoy, Kirk looked over at Spock and said, "Hey, so I uh...really need help with this physics assignment. Wanna come over and help me?"

Spock's brow shot up at this, naturally, and he replied, "I was unaware you were struggling, Jim."

"He's not," McCoy said, somehow exasperated by yet pitiful of Spock's innocence.

"Yes I  _am_ , Bones," Kirk said somewhat under his breath.

Spock's expression remained blank. "I am willing to assist you. Would you like to meet at the flagpole at 3:30?"

Kirk gave his usual smile and said, "perfect."

McCoy rolled his eyes and said, "Well I hope you won't 'need help' with physics tomorrow. We still have to work on Mrs. Smith's project."

Kirk moaned, "Ugh, she's the worst."

"Perhaps I could be of--"

"No, no, Spock. It's our work to do, not yours."

"I see. Well, I'll meet you at 3:30. Goodbye."

____________________

When 3:30 rolled around, Kirk was the one who was waiting. Spock arrived at 3:40 looking slightly tired. Jim furrowed his brow worriedly and said, "What happened?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific."

"Don't bullshit me, Spock. What the hell  _happened?_ "

"You seem to increase the amount of profane words you use when you are upset, an undoubtedly human characteristic. I must say your race is fascina--"

"Don't try to change the subject. What happened?"

"I do not wish to speak of it."

"Spock, please. For me."

Spock took a deep breath. "Alright."

"Thank you."

"As you know, it is October. The month in which those on Earth celebrate All Hallow's Eve, more commonly referred to as 'Halloween.'"

Kirk's anxiety rose. He wanted to yell  _make your point, Spock_ but he knew that would make things worse, so he decided to say, "Yes...?"

"You are also aware that I resemble some characters of your Earth legends. Elves, Satan--"

"Oh no," Kirk thought aloud. He knew where this was going. 

Spock decided to ignore Kirk's little outburst and continued. "As I was walking here, the other children in the hallway were discussing what they were going to, as they put it, 'be for Halloween.' Then their attention turned to me and they told me I should be an elf, due to my ears. This evolved into teasing, which is something that I am used to, so I was able to successfully ignore it. Finnegan showed up--"

"Spock, are you--" Kirk's worry was at its peak now.

"I'm quite alright. Anyway, he showed up and said, that I should be the Devil because I and your devil apparently something in common. This commonality is allegedly that your god hates us which again, I do not mind, for my spiritual philosophies are different than yours, so I am indifferent if your god likes me or not. He eventually used that colloquialism, which is, according to him, why your god hates me, and he and his friends started to gather around me..."

Kirk couldn't bear to hear any more. "Spock, you don't have to continue."

"I'm fine, Jim. You forget that my physical prowess exceeds human expectations, and I have an advantage." Spock raised his hand and Kirk remembered the Vulcan trick he had performed.

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yes. I am faintly fatigued, but that is all."

Kirk smiled mischeviously. "I can fix that."

Spock was intrigued by Kirk's cryptic demeanor, but decided to ask, "Shall we walk to your residence?"

Kirk smiled and said, "Yes."

When they got to the house, Kirk dropped his bag to the floor and took a step closer to Spock.

"Won't you be needing your bag?" Spock inquired, raising his brow as he gently removed his own.

"Nah," Kirk said, moving ever closer.

"I cannot assist you with physics if you do not tell me--"

Kirk cut off the rest of Spock's statement with a kiss. "That's not what I need assistance with."

"Pardon?"

"Must I teach you everything?" He teased, kissing Spock again. 

"I must say that I was bemused by your request. I was under the impression that you had the highest grade in the class."

"I do," Kirk cooed, kissing Spock's ear. He kissed Spock's cheek. Kirk's eyes glinted devilishly as he began to kiss and suck Spock's neck.

"I should also point out that...I must also...point..."

"Jeez, I didn't know Vulcans were so chatty," Kirk teased, sucking his neck again. Kirk's hand brushed over Spock's, which made Spock shudder.

Jackpot.

Kirk took Spock's hand in his, stroking it gently. "Ah, I almost forgot. The Vulcan hands."

"Jim--"

"Shh, I must observe more closely." Kirk kissed Spock's hand all over, which caused Spock to almost squirm. He took the index finger into his mouth, sucking lightly.

"J-Jim--"

Kirk stopped and took a step back, realizing the situation. "Spock, have you ever--"

"No," Spock said, recovering.

"Not even with a--"

"Female? No. I have never been so...physically stimulated in all my life.

Kirk smiled. "All right, babe. We'll take it slow. Don't want my pretty little Vulcan passing out on me."

"Would you like me to leave?"

Kirk look offended. "Of course not, Spock. We can just..." Kirk looked around the room. "Here. Sit down," he said, indicating the couch.

Spock raised a brow but complied. Kirk flopped down next to him, put his arm around him, and pulled him closer, nuzzling his head into Spock's shoulder.

____________________

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

"So," McCoy said cheekily, chin rested teasingly atop his fist, "How's the ol' ball 'n' chain?"

Kirk bit his nail for a moment before saying,  "I do not have a ball, nor do I have a chain."

McCoy laughed and said, "I didn't ask you to impersonate the ol' ball 'n' chain."

Kirk looked away, unable to formulate a witty retort. McCoy decided to shift his approach and, altering his playful expression into a more sympathetic one, said, "I know about you and Spock, Jim," placing a hand on Kirk's shoulder.

Kirk bit his nail again, harder this time. "How?" he croaked.

"Look, Jim. I've known you for years. I can tell when you...like a person. I can even tell, based on your expression, if the person reciprocates. Fortunately for you and, I must admit, most surprisingly, Spock likes you."

"Alright, alright. Can we just work on the project?"

"Jim, It's okay if--"

"Bones, please."

"Of course, Jim," he said, without a trace of smugness.

____________________

"I believe I have a surprise for you, Jim," Spock said as he approached Kirk's locker.

"A surprise? For me? How very un-Vulcan of you," Kirk teased.

"Don't push it, Kirk," retorted Spock. 

"Ooh! A sassy Vulcan!" Kirk teased. He leaned in for a kiss, but quickly retreated upon remembering the setting.

"So...um," Kirk said, clearing his throat, "When do I get my surprise?"

"Whenever it is favorable for me to visit your residence."

"Today?"

Spock's mouth curved ever-so-slightly as he said, "That should suffice."

"Good. So," Kirk said, clasping his hands together, "Flagpole at 3:30?"

A faint sparkle of mischief made its way into the Vulcan's eyes as he said, "Precisely."

____________________

Kirk arrived at their designated meeting place early, not-so-patiently awaiting Spock's arrival. Spock was punctual, naturally, and was sporting a bag that was slightly more stuffed than usual.

Kirk considered asking about the bag, but decided to let it alone, asking "Shall we?" instead.

Spock nodded and successfully concealed his anticipation.

The streets were full of gaiety and laughter. Couples were holding hands and rushing to the nearest store, admiring the festive decorations and saying things such as, 'I want  _that_ for Christmas!' Children beamed as they tugged at their mother's skirts, shouting questions like 'Santa's  _here?_  ' and 'Will we get to see the reindeer?' with the wonderment that is inherent to the youth of Earth. _  
_

Kirk observed the vivacity cheerily, stating, "I see the Christmas spirit is in the air."

Spock quirked a brow at the notion and asked, "Are you referring to the ghost of Christmas past, present, or future?"

"Different kind of spirit, Spock. This kind of spirit is a sort of...feeling. A mood, you know?"

"My apologies, Jim. I, being Vulcan, am not deft in reading the emotional states humans refer to as 'moods.'"

"I think you're better than you think," Kirk smiled reassuringly, "In fact, I know it."

"Jim, I believe that you are experiencing what is called 'faith.' Why do you have so much of it invested in me? It is most illogical."

Kirk stopped walking abruptly. Spock followed suit, bemused. "No it isn't, Spock. Don't say stuff like that about yourself."

The firmness in his tone inhibited Spock's desire to make further inquiry, so he just whispered, "Sorry" to his toes.

"No," Kirk said gently, stepping closer to Spock, "Never." He looked around, to make sure no one was watching, and kissed Spock on the nose. "Never sorry."

 

When the two entered Kirk's house, faint signs of eagerness (signs only Kirk could pick up) were manifested in Spock's expression.

"So," Kirk said, tossing his bag onto the floor and strutting about like a king, "Where's this surprise of yours?"

"I must remind you that the surprise is, in fact, yours, not mine. In order for you to get the surprise, I must change garments. Where will you permit me to do this?"

Now Kirk was the one with the Kirk brow. "Umm...you can change in my room?"

"That would be suitable," Spock said, walking to Kirk's room with his bag still on his arm.

When Spock emerged moments later, Kirk squealed with delight. Spock was dressed as a traditional Christmas elf. He sported green tights, pointed green shoes with jingle bells, and a pointed green hat that also had jingle bells. 

"Oh my God, Spock," Kirk breathed, quaking with laughter, "You look absolutely ridiculous!"

Spock jingled toward Kirk, hands placed on his hips in playful admonishment, "Now, Jim. Is that really how you treat your secret boyfriend when he has gone to such great lengths to amuse you?"

"Oh my God, Spock!" Kirk exclaimed, clearly not over the surprise, "You are absolutely incredible." A thought dawned on Kirk as he looked at his Christmas tree. He walked over to it, took a candy cane off of a bough, and handed it to Spock. "Here," he offered, "Another holiday Earth tradition."

"What is it?" Spock asked, accepting the candy.

"It's a candy cane. A peppermint stick in the shape of a cane. Try it. Don't bite it, though. It's like a lollipop-type deal."

Spock unwrapped the tip of the candy cane and licked it. "Interesting," he mused, "The taste resembles that of the toothpaste my mother uses."

Kirk chuckled. "Yeah, I guess it does kind of taste like toothpaste. I like it though."

"I, too seem to enjoy it," Spock said, re-wrapping the tip, "I must preserve the rest for later."

"You know what else is a Christmas tradition?"

Spock's brow shot up, so Kirk said, "Look up."

Spock obeyed, looking at the ceiling. Mistletoe was there, hanging between Kirk and Spock. "Mistletoe," Kirk explained.

"What is the tradition involving this particular type of flora?"

"When two people are trapped under it," Kirk said, blushing slightly, "They are supposed to do this." Kirk kissed Spock, which caught him a tad off guard, but he kissed Kirk back all the same.

"They should consider renaming it 'kissletoe.'"

Kirk was delighted by this. "A _pun,_ Spock? By God, what has gotten into you?"

Spock looked at him and replied, "A rather contagious disease named James T. Kirk. 'Jim' for short."

Kirk stroked Spock's cheek. "Have I ever told you you were incredible?"

"Yes."

"Well guess what?"

Spock's brow was raised yet again in response.

"You're incredible."

"I am not quite finished yet."

Kirk gave him a quizzical look.

"Like Santa's elves," Spock explained, retrieving something from his bag, "I come bearing gifts." He handed Kirk a small package and added, "'Merry Christmas' is, I believe, the proper sentiment."

The box was wrapped so elegantly that Kirk almost didn't want to open it. Curiosity got the better of him, of course, and he ripped off the paper, revealing a copy of Charles Dicken's  _A Tale of Two Cities_. 

"I know of your fondness for antiques."

Delighted, Kirk rushed into his room. When he returned, he presented Spock with a package somewhat larger than the one he received. The wrapping job wasn't as neat as Spock's, but it was evident that Kirk put his best efforts into it. "I  _was_ going to give it to you on Christmas Eve which is _weeks_ away, by the way, but it seems more appropriate to give it to you now. "

Spock accepted the gift and unwrapped it slowly. It was book entitled  _The Philosophies of Surak_.

"I'm sure you've read many Vulcan books on Surak, but I'd thought it'd be fun for you to see how we humans interpreted it. You know, so you can make a fuss about our errors."

"Vulcans do not 'make a fuss,' Jim. I appreciate the gift nonetheless," he said, placing the book carefully into his bag. 

"Yet they prance about dressed as elves to amuse those they care about?"

"Vulcans do not 'prance,' Jim."

"Alright, Alright. Enough of what Vulcan's  _don't_ do. I know something that they  _do_ do," he said, placing his hands on Spock's.

Spock was filled with warmth as he let just a hint of a smile appear on his face.

____________________

 


	6. Chapter 6

"Spock! Just the man I wanted to see!" Kirk exclaimed, clapping Spock on the shoulder.

Spock's famous brow was risen again as he replied, "I should hope so. I wouldn't surmise you would visit my residence seeking someone other than myself."

Kirk smiled brightly. "I just wanted to invite you to my New Year's Eve party. It's on December 31st, but will be bleeding into January 1st. January 1st is the first day of the new yeat. It's tradition to ring in the new year with a party," Kirk explained. 

"I must remind you that I am not, as you humans put, a 'party animal.'"

Kirk laughed. "You get better every day, Spock. Please come. I think it will be a good experience for you."

"Though I disagree with that hypothesis, I shall accept your invitation."

"Great! Kirk said, smile alight as usual. He gave Spock a peck on the cheek and added, "We still have that chess game planned for tomorrow, right?"

"Yes."

"Okay then. See you tomorrow!" Kirk started to leave, but turned around to kiss Spock. "I would say that I'm sorry, but I'm not." And with that, he left.

Spock had fallen head over heels for James T. Kirk.

____________________

"So," a blonde named Christine said dreamily, "Who are you going to kiss at midnight?"

A flush of panic ran over Kirk. _How could he have forgotten the kiss?_ "No one," he replied curtly.

"Aww, come on, Jim, there has to be  _some_ one," she insisted.

"No," he said briskly.

"There's no one you like?" she asked sympathetically.

"I don't feel that way about anyone, alright?"

"Not even Spock?" Sulu cut in.

"What? _Spock?_ What? Spock's just..."

"You guys are inseperable. I thought--"

"Spock means nothing to me," he blurted out. A relentless wave of guilt washed over Kirk, leaving his body shaking, but he continued. "I only hang around the kid because I feel bad for him. I have to take care of him or he'd get himself killed. It's exhausting."

Spock had heard enough. He glanced at Kirk one last time and left. Kirk hadn't noticed Spock's presence, but was shaking with anxiety and guilt all the same.

After the crowd around Kirk diffused, McCoy walked up to him angrily. "What the hell was  _that?_ " he accused. _  
_

"What?" Kirk was quaking violently now.

"Outside," McCoy said sternly. When Kirk hesitated, he added " _Now_ " with a fire in his voice. Kirk followed him outside.

"Why the  _fuck_ would you say that about the most important person to you?"

"Fuck, Bones. I don't know. I panicked, alright?" he exploded.

"Out of all the  _stupid_ fucked up  _bullshit_ you've done, this takes the cake, Jim." _  
_

"This isn't making me feel any better!"

"Good! You don't deserve to feel better!"

"Bones, you don't--"

"Oh, I understand alright. You let some stupid high school sense of mojo get in the way of something that actually has  _importance_ to you."

"It's not my fault that you have no friends, Bones. Don't be jealous."

"God damn it, Jim! Don't you see what you're  _doing?_ When you're in awful or uncomfortable situations, you turn on the people who you care about most."

Kirk advanced toward McCoy with a malicious glint in his eyes, "You really think you mean something to me, Bones?"

"Yes, I do. I know I do. I know that you're just pretending you don't care about anything because you're afraid of caring. You care too much, and that frightens you. High school jocks aren't supposed to care. You're a stud, you're supposed to hit it and quit it with every bimbo you can get your hands on. Love is scary to you, so you fucking push it away to protect your precious, bullshit reputation."

"Don't pull that psychology bullshit on me, Bones. You're not a fucking doctor yet."

"I'm not a doctor, but I am your friend. I know you love him." Before Kirk could cut in, Bones raised his hand and said, "Don't try to deny it! You and I would both see through that."

Kirk was beyond frustrated. "I don't wanna  _hear_ this right now!"

"You're also not going to want to here this," McCoy said, taking a deep breath, "Spock's gone."

Kirk felt as if he had just gotten hit by a train. "What," he stated rather than asked.

"He heard everything. He's gone, Jim."

Kirk looked around frantically for something,  _anything_ , that would fix his situation. "Shit. What the fuck have I  _done?_ I had such a good...We had such a good..."

Tears streamed down Kirk's face and McCoy placed a light, consoling hand on Kirk's shoulder. 

The guilt was really creeping in now. "I shouldn't have...Oh, Spock! I knew how insecure you were! Why did I put you through... _Why_ couldn't I just...fuck. I don't even fucking  _care_ about those people. Why did I do this?" Kirk buried his face in his hands and sat on the ground in apathy. He looked at his friend, face shining with tears. "Why?" he whispered.

"We make mistakes sometimes, Jim, it's human nature--"

"Do you even _get_ it? He'll never trust me again! He'll probably renounce all feeling and try to find the Vulcan route or something. What have I  _done_ , Bones?" _  
_

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Come on, let's go back inside."

"I don't want to. I should have never--"

"No use moping out here and catching your death of cold." McCoy lifted him up by the arm. "Come on. Inside."

At midnight, Kirk watched painfully as people kissed to ring in the new year. He remembered the wonderful sensations he felt when kissing Spock, and would give anything to have him in this moment. And then it occured to him. He didn't care where he kissed Spock. He didn't care who was watching. All he wanted was Spock back, and he blew it.  _Why did I let something so stupid get in the way of_ _..._ The thought was too painful to finish. He walked into his room and noticed a note was laid on his bed. Anxiety crept through him, filling him with nausea. The note was folded, with only one word on the front written in beautiful penmanship:  _Jim_. He opened the note and proved that his suspicions were correct.

_Jim,_

_I would like to thank you for feeling responsibility for my well-being. I am sorry that this task has exhausted you, so I must assure you that I no longer require yout assistance. I thought we had a mutual feeling in our relationship, but I am afriad I was wrong. I did not know how you felt, so I apologize for letting our relationship grow as much as it did._

_  
_Kirk stopped reading. Spock's words rang in his ears, _I didn't think I mattered to anyone_. And his response,  _You matter to me_.

How could he have been so stupid? Painfully, he continued reading.

_I must rid myself of the disease known as James T. Kirk, "Jim" for short. You were my only weakness and, I must admit, you hurt me. I must not allow such a situation to occur again. You will no longer be hearing from me, and I will try to make myself as scarce as possible for our mutual benefit. Perhaps the only mutual benefit we will ever experience. Goodbye, Jim. This is the last time I will permit myself to think of you or even your name again. Live long and prosper._

_Spock_

_  
_When Kirk had finished reading, the note was sprinkled with tears.

_I didn't think I mattered to anyone._

_You matter to me._

_  
_How could he have been so _stupid?_

  
_  
_____________________


	7. Chapter 7

_Knock knock._

_  
_"...Jim?"

"Go away," Jim groaned.

"James Tiberius Kirk, if you do not open this--"

The door swung open, revealing a disheveled, smelly Kirk and an equally disheveled, smelly room.

"What do you want, Mom?"

Winona Kirk's face was softened at the sight of her distraught son. "Jim, what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Jim, please. You've locked yourself in that room for _days_ _!_ As your mother--"

"Mom, please. Not now."

"I would ground you for not cleaning your room if you didn't look so damn sad."

"You can ground me if you want, Ma, I'm not going anywhere."

"Not even to see McCoy? Or that other friend of yours...what was his name...the Vulcan."

Kirk's eyes became ice as he slammed the door. Winona stood stunned for a moment, then went to the kitchen and retrieved two beer bottles from the fridge. She knocked on Kirk's door again.

Kirk swung the door open and said, "What?" exasperatedly. His eyes fell on the beers and he quirked a quizzical brow.

"Since I now have to play both the maternal and paternal roles in your life, I thought you should sit down and have a cold one with me."

Kirk couldn't help but laugh a little, "Mom, you don't have to--"

"I insist. Jim, please."

"Okay." He waved a hand to welcome Winona into the room, but she remained where she stood.

"In the living room, Jim. I'm not sitting in that shit hole."

Kirk smiled. "Paternal role?"

Winona smiled, eyes blemished with a trace of sadness. "Yes."

They walked into the living room and sat on the couch. Winona opened a bottle and offered it to Kirk. Kirk accepted it and took a sip, forming a mock-repulsed face to indicate a newfound bitterness.

"Don't bullshit me, kid. I know you've snuck a few of these before."

Kirk smiled, albeit more dimly than usual, and replied, "You're pretty good at this dad stuff."

Winona smiled. "I have to be. So, what happened with the Vulcan?"

Kirk's mouth turned dry. "How did you--"

"Well I had my suspicions, which were confirmed when you slammed the door in my face a few minutes ago."

"Yeah, uh...sorry about that."

"I understand, Jim."

"Do you mind not calling me that?"

Winona was a bit startled at this sudden question. "What?"

"It reminds me of him. Just...don't call me that right now."

Winona sighed, "That bad, huh?"

"You have no idea. It's all my fault anyway."

Winona said nothing, but her face indicated she was expecting more detail.

"Alright, well. I... _wow_ , this is hard. Spock and I..." he breathed, looking for words, "I befriended Spock because I was drawn to him. I wasn't sure why. I was his only friend, and I could tell he was insecure but..."

"But?" Winona nudged slightly.

"I didn't even know I liked him. Not until Nyota...remember her?"

"Oh yes! She was a lovely girl!"

"Yeah, she was. Anyway, I didn't even really  _know_ I liked him until she pointed it out and...it was too much for me to handle. I didn't want to believe it because...because of Finnegan and also I was worried about what people would say."

"Finnegan?"

"Yeah. He's this asshole who...even  _before_ Spock and I were dating--" Kirk saw Winona's  _you were dating someone and didn't tell me?_ face so he added, "in secret. Even before then he would...he would call us...fags."

Winona let out a horrified gasp. 

"I know, I know. Awful. Anyway, Spock and I started dating in secret because well...we liked each other but...he understood that I had a reputation."

Winona's face indicated she knew where this was going. "And you hurt him," she said in quiet disbelief.

"Yeah," Kirk sighed. "Yeah." He took a long drink from his beer and said, "At the New Year's Eve party. I forgot about the kissing tradition and..."

"You kissed someone else?"

"Not exactly. Someone asked who I was going to kiss, and another person asked if I was going to kiss Spock and I...I said some things I shouldn't have. Said he meant nothing to me, which was a damn  _lie_ , but I still shouldn't have...and then he left me this note. And my whole life...my whole _world_...was over."

Winona sighed, opening and taking a sip from her own beer. "Love is a very cruel thing. I was a wreck when your father died, and after Frank left, but...you know what I did?"

Kirk sighed, "This is the maternal role kicking in, isn't it?"

"I'm afraid so."

Kirk laughed. "It had to eventually. What did you do?"

"I stayed strong for those who needed me. The people I loved. I was a wreck when your father died, I was a mess when Frank left, but...I didn't collapse. No matter how badly I wanted to, I didn't collapse because I had to take care of you and Sam. You two needed me, depended on me. And that's how I stayed strong."

"But there's no one who depends on me."

"I depend on you. Leonard depends on you. Do you know how many times he's called this house in the past few days? He's even barged in a few times demanding to see you."

Kirk gave a weary laugh into his hands and said, "Shit. I really fucked it up this time."

" _Language_ ," she teased. "Now, come on. I'll help you clean your room if you take a shower."

Kirk got up. "Alright. Is it okay if I go to Bones' place and maybe stay for a couple of nights? Or am I grounded?" he teased.

"Of course you can. Make sure it's alright with David, though."

"Alright. Hey, Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks," he said.

Winona smiled and said, "Any time."

 

____________________

When Spock said he would make himself scarce, he wasn't kidding. The only time Kirk ever saw him was in history class, and he sat in a position where it was hard for Kirk to lay eyes on him. For Kirk, January felt like the longest month in history. Kirk thought about how Spock would find this illogical, claiming that although January is one of the longer months, it was no longer than August, July, or other months that had 31 days. This made Kirk even more depressed.  _How could stop thinking about Spock?_ He watched the other children at school, beaming about how it was the new year so they could get a fresh start and begin anew. The little Spock in Kirk's brain indicated the illogic of this as well, and Kirk fell deeper into despair. He dropped his head on the lunch table. _Get out of my brain!_ He thought, to no avail of course. 

 _  
_"Hey, J--... _Kirk,_ " McCoy said.

Kirk smiled. "It's okay, Bones. I'm not that fragile anymore."

"Well you're God damn pathetic. When are you going to stop moping?"

"Bones, pl--"

"Why haven't you done anything about Spock?"

Kirk straightened, "Wh--...he told me to stay aw--"

"Did that stop you from rigging the state-wide  _Kobayashi Maru_ test? A test that  _no one is supposed to pass_ , might I add. Who is the only student in history to pass it?"

Kirk sighed. "I am. But Bones, this is--"

"No, it's not different. Here's why.  _Spock still loves you._ "

"Bones, don't do this to me. And when did you turn into some peppy best friend from a romance movie?"

"Since my pathetic best friend turned into a helpless girl from a romance movie."

"Touche," Kirk said, brandishing his fork at Bones.

"Look, just do something... _anything_...to get him back. You haven't been yourself in weeks. I let you spend your whole Winter Break moping, but I'm not gonna let you piss your whole damn  _life_ away."

"I already did," Kirk replied darkly, "at that party."

 

____________________

_Hello, students. This is principal Pike speaking. Student Council has a few announcements._

_This is Jane, your school president! Don't forget to buy your Valentine's Day Dance tickets!_

_  
_Kirk groaned.

"Hey, Jim! Do you have a date for the dance?" A pretty Student Council member asked.

"No," Kirk said sourly.

"But you're  _James T. Kirk!_ It's probably not hard to get a da--"

"I don't need a date because I'm not going."

"Why not?"

"Did it ever occur to you that II might just  _not want to go?"_

 _  
_The girl frowned a little and said, "Oh, I guess not. I'm sorry" rather timidly and left.

_Thank you, Student Council! Now if you have a special someone you wish to ask to the dance, Valentine-grams will be available at my desk._

Kirk jumped up from his chair and ran to the principal's office.

Hope.

 

____________________


	8. Chapter 8

"Mr. Pike! Mr. Pike!" Kirk bust in the principal's office in a flurry of sweat and breath. He gripped his sides, panting. "Mr.--"

"Kirk! What the devil are you doing in--"

"I need a Valentine gram!"

"Whoa, whoa, kid. Slow down. You can buy one for--"

"I don't want some stupid lollipop one, Mr. Pike. I need a special one. Like a huge announcement one."

"Kirk, disrupting class is--"

"Even for the school's first openly gay inter-species couple?"

Pike was shocked yet intigued. He nodded, indicating for Kirk to continue.

"Listen, Mr. Pike. I messed up. I was dating Spock, you know, the new Vulcan kid, and...and--"

"Whoa, Kirk. Slow your roll. Calm down."

"Sorry. We were dating in secret and I...messed it up and...an announcement is the only way I can get him to listen to me. And warmly patroning an openly homosexual inter-species couple would not make the school look half bad, now would it? In a progressive era like this one?"

Pike pondered this for a moment. It was evident he was aware of the controversy that may arise, so he reluctantly remained hesitant.

"Or I could just use the 'have a heart' approach."

This ellicited a small smile from Pike. He chuckled and said, "Alright, kid. You've got yourself a deal."

"Alright, so...how?"

"Would you be okay with me calling him down here and having you be here when he arrives?"

Kirk reflected for a moment, deeming this an adequate proposition. "Sounds good to me. The main problem I've had is that he's been  _avoiding_ me, so that should fix the problem."

"Good. We'll have him come down tomorrow."

Kirk's face was nothing short of impatient, but he abode. "Tomorrow, then," he said, and exited the room.

 

____________________

"Mr. Spock to the principal's office."

If Spock were human, he would have rolled his eyes or perhaps made an obscene gesture at those who let out immature "oooooohhhhssss" at his summons. Luckily for their (as well as his) sake, he had exquisite training in remaining composure and letting certain human characteristics (and often certain humans) escape his mind. Upon walking into Principal Pike's office, Spock encountered the one human whom he could not let escape: James T. Kirk.

"Ji--am I interrupting, sir?"

"Nonsense," Pike said, "I summoned you here. The concept of your entrance being a disturbance is...well it's..."

"Illogical," Spock upbraided himself for this. He was haunted by how easily his logic slipped whenever he was in close proximity of Jim Kirk.

"Kirk's supposed to be here, too," Pike said, anticipating Spock's question, "He has something he wants to ask you."

Spock's heart stopped, metaphorically of course. Suddenly the Terran concept of a deer caught in the headlights made perfect sense to him. "Sir, I--"

"Spock," Kirk cut in, "Listen, I...there's no easy way to say this...shit, I...I don't even know where to begin."

"Then perhaps I should go."

"Spock, wait. Listen, I was stupid. I didn't realize how stupid I was until, well...I lost the greatest thing in my life. You. Look, I don't expect you to forgive me, but I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I didn't ask you this, and I know it sounds all stupid romance-movie, but--"

Kirk got down on one knee as he did the first time, which initially alarmed the principal, but he waited. "Spock, I...look. I want to be in a relationship with you. Full-disclosure. Look, I'm shaking. Jesus. I realized, perhaps too late, that I don't care who's around as long as you're there, too and..."

"Jim..."

Spock's tone was nothing short of devastating. Kirk dropped his head in resignition and said, "I know. I don't deserve it."

"Jim--"

"And to think I had some wild fantasy that we would go to this _dance_ together and--"

"Jim." Spock's stern tone proved effective in stopping Kirk's ramble. "When I...terminated our relationship, I thought I could purge myself of all emotion. Purge myself of...of you."

Those words stung Kirk like a thousand wasps. "It was all my fault," he whispered, "I--I hurt you..."

"And how will I know this will not be a recurring action?"

The tears streaming down Kirk's face gave Spock his answer, although Kirk provided him with an additional--albeit vehement--one, "Because I was a  _stupid jerk!_ I had no  _idea_ how much I was hurting you--even though I should have. Well I don't give a  _FUCK_ about my reputation! I don't give a fuck about  _ANYTHING_ anymore! Except you! I managed to ruin the best thing in my--"

"Do shut up," Spock said, placing his elegant lips atop Kirk's.

Kirk was filled to the brim with elation. "But Spock, why--"

"I believe that I have, as you say, 'tortured you enough.'"

And, ever-so-suddenly, that massive, Kirk-ian grin shone once again, as though it have never left. 

"Alright  _lovebirds_ , back to class," Pike said in teasing authority. 

Kirk and Spock walked out of the principal's office together. Kirk slung his arm around his Vulcan as he looked lovingly into those dark eyes.

"Oh, and Kirk?" Pike added.

Kirk whipped around with an idiotic grinned plastered to his face. "Yeah?"

"Detention."

Kirk's grin immediately turned into a confused frown as he managed to stutter a "wh-wh--"

"Our students are supposed to keep civil tongues around here." Pike couldn't help but smile.

"A fair price to pay," Kirk admitted, and left.

 

____________________

"Oh, my darling boy!" Winona cried, "You look absolutely dashing!"

"Although I do not agree with your mother's over-zealous tone, I agree with the statement."

Kirk grinned, "Ladies and gentleman, my boyfriend!" he announced, kissing Spock's cheek.

"Now, now, hold  _still_ ," Winona insisted, fussing with Kirk's hair.

"Mom, I'm  _fine_ ," Kirk's said, readjusting his hair. "Can you let me go so I can take my  _boyfriend_ ," Kirk smiled teasingly at Spock, "to the dance?"

"I do believe you will render that term insufferable."

Kirk laughed, shooting Spock an affectionate look, "You know you love it."

Spock said nothing, which only confirmed Kirk's suspicions. They started to head out until Kirk swerved around and said, "Oh, I almost forgot,  _valentine_. I have something for you." Kirk went into his room and retrieved a heart-shaped box, giving it to Spock. "Chocolates," he explained.

Spock looked down, which Kirk could tell was in shame. "I apologize, Jim. I was unaware that of tradition--"

Kirk waved a dismissive hand, "You are my gift, Spock. Now will you  _please_ let me kiss your ass without further questions?"

Spock was alarmed by this sudden inappropriate question, especially in front of Kirk's mother. Kirk laughed, and Winona gave an amused smile. "It's an expression, Spock. It means that I get to do a bunch of stuff for you to make up for everything and win your affection."

Spock looked at Jim intently. "You already have my affection, you needn't not--"

"Ah-ah-ah! What's done is done."

Spock looked at the chocolate box. It was in a heart shape, and the front said  _Be My Valentine_ in frilly, gold letters. "I believe this is, if I am using the appropriate colloquialism, 'corny.'"

Kirk laughed, "I'll always be corny for you."

"Well, I assure you," Spock said with just a hint of a smile, "I have been and always shall be your valentine."

"Now look who's being corny," Kirk teased. "Come on! Let's get outta here!" He ran over and kissed Winona on the cheek, "Bye, Mom!"

Spock turned to her and said, "Goodbye, Mrs. Kirk. And thank you."

Winona was confused by this at first but, upon noticing the mutual energy between them, understood as a reflexive smile crept across her face.

 

____________________

At the dance, "Happiness is a Warm Gun" began to play, which made Kirk delightfully surprised. 

"A classic!" he exclaimed, "Come on, let's dance!"

"Jim, I do not know how."

"I'll show you."

Kirk led the dance, but Spock caught on quickly.

"I must say, you're quite good at this."

"And I must say how illogical it is to associate a human emotion, especially the one known as happiness, to a device designed to kill."

Kirk laughed heartily. "God, Spock! You have no idea how much I missed you!"

Chilling memories of the days without Jim crept in on Spock as he said, "I believe I do."

Sulu approached them. "Congrats, you two!"

"It's about damn time!" McCoy cut in.

"I second that!" said McCoy's date.

Kirk and Spock received a series of congratulatory sentiments and gestures. All seemed to be overjoyed by the couple--that is, all but Finnegan and his cronies. Kirk laughed at their angry expressions and almost pitied them. He let euphoria wash over him. He had the most important person in his life in his arms. _He had Spock back._  It seemed as though they were the only two in the whole room, or the whole world for that matter.  _Illogical_ , Spock's subtly flattered voice rang in Jim's head.  _God damn disgusting_ , rang McCoy's surly one, but Kirk didn't care. He didn't care how stupid or sappy he sounded, he had Spock, and he was finally free from the burden of caring what other people think.

Which gave Kirk an idea.

 

____________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the "I have been and always shall be your valentine" was a line I snagged from this Spirk valentine I saw. So...yeah. I thought it was really cute, so I decided to put it in this fic. :)


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey, uh, Spock. I gotta do something really quick," Kirk could hardly contain his excitement.

Spock's brow was nothing short of suspicious, which amused Kirk to no end.

"I promise, it'll just be a minute," Kirk assured, "Why don't you talk it up with your best pal Bones while I'm gone?" he added teasingly, eliciting a completely unimpressed look from his boyfriend. Satisfied, Kirk sauntered out of the room.

Spock walked over to the gaudily-bedecked refreshment table and eyed its offering. There was an assortment of cookies, candies, and the like; a large punch bowl sat in the center, and Spock eyed it with interest. He walked over to it and poured himself a glass. "Interesting," he said, pondering the flavor, "Quite unlike the beverages to which I am accustomed." Spock's eyes couldn't help but wander to the door, anticipating Kirk's return. Kirk was nowhere in sight. Disappointed, Spock took another sip as he eyed the dancers. He noticed that Finnegan and his friends were gone, which slightly relieved him because he and Kirk would be spared the irritating homophobic torment.

"Spock!" Sulu said, cookie in hand, "Where's Jim?"

"I am unaware of his current location. He informed me that he had to do something 'really quick' and that 'it'll just be a minute,' but it has been precisely 5.2 minutes since his departure."

Sulu beamed at this, which perplexed Spock greatly. "Worried about the boyfriend, eh? I'm sure he'll be back soon," he said gently, and walked away.

Half an hour later, Kirk still hadn't turned up. Spock was most definitely worried now, although he was sure there was no evidence of that in his countenance. A pretty redhead walked up to him timidly and said, "Mr. Spock, you have a Valentine-gram" and handed him a heart-shaped lollipop to which a note was attached. Spock raised a brow and accepted the gift, nodding his thanks and causing the girl to smile and leave. _Was this what Jim had done?_ Spock looked at the note. The handwriting was most definitely not Jim's. It was messy like his, but the scribble seemed unkind. Spock remembered that it is illogical to allot a human characteristic to a nonhuman object, and proceeded to read the note, which read:

_His blood is red, bruises are blue_

_Buttbuddy's dead, and so are you_

A wave of panic swept over Spock. His eyes looked around frantically. What exactly he was looking for, he didn't know. _Jim. No, no, no. Unacceptable._ He noticed McCoy dancing with his date and took brisk steps toward him. "Leonard, I--"

"Aww, come one, hobgoblin, can't you see that I'm dancin'?"

"Leonard, I--"

He smiled teasingly and said, "Look, I'm flattered, but--"

" _Leonard_." 

McCoy sighed. "I'll be back in a minute," he said apologetically to his date. "What do you want?" he said, but Spock didn't have time to answer. He grabbed McCoy's arm and pushed him along, walking out of the door and into the hallway. Once McCoy was released, he turned an angry head to his man-handler.

"Listen, you little half-breed--"

Spock grabbed the back of McCoy's neck, startling him. "I do  _not_ like that," he said through clenched teeth, "I don't think I ever did."

Startled by this emotional display, Spock released McCoy. Humbled, McCoy stepped back. "Sorry," he muttered. "What is it?"

"It's Jim."

"You're gonna have to be more specific than--"

Spock shoved his Valentine-gram into his hands.

McCoy rolled his eyes, "All this for a--"

" _Read it."_

 _  
_Somewhat frightened, McCoy opened the note. Terror crept across his face, "wh--who--"

"Finnegan."

"How? We've got to find him!"

"I am aware of the situation, but I am unaware of Jim's location."

"How can you be so damn calm about this?!"

"If I do not compose myself, I will collapse," Spock admitted flatly.

Backing off, McCoy muttered, "What do we do?"

"I suggest we organize a search. Do you have any idea as to where Jim was last located?"

Shocked, McCoy said, "No. I thought he was with you."

"He was, but he told me he needed to do an unknown activity and that this errand would only take a short time. Evidently, he was wrong."

"God  _damn it_ , Jim."

"Perhaps he went to retrieve something from his car. I suggest we look outside."

"Spock, it's pitch dark out there. Even if he  _is_ somewhere outside,  _how_ are we supposed to find him?"

"Do not give up hope, Leonard."

McCoy was stunned as he said, "Isn't hope illogical or something?"

"Now you are aware of how desperate the situation is."

McCoy translated  _the situation is_ into  _I am_ , but decided to give Spock a break. "Maybe we should tell somebody?"

"There is no time."

Fumbling in his pocket, McCoy pulled out his keys. "Miniature flashlight," he explained. Spock nodded and they ran outside.

____________________

Kirk opened his eyes to find himself sitting, hands tied to a pole. The pain in his head and the rest of his body was blinding. Despite the pain and the dim lighting, Kirk's eyes swept about the area in an attempt to make whatever sense he could out of his surroundings. _  
_

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the precious James T. Kirk."

Kirk looked up to find a grinning Finnegan. "What have you done with Spock?" he accused.

Malice was alight in Finnegan's eyes as he said, "Nothing you want to know."

"Let him  _go!"_

"Don't worry, your little _friend_ is safe, although _you_ won't be as lucky."

"What do you  _want_ , Finnegan?"

Finnegan smiled cruelly and said, "Only your blood on the floor. Oh, isn't it a pity that the half-breed isn't--"

"DON'T CALL HIM THAT!" Jim exploded, thrashing in his bondage.

"Oh, what? Are you in  _love_ with the freak?" Finnegan and his friends exchanged sniggers.

"What is  _wrong_ with you?!"

"There is nothing wrong with me,  _i'm_ not the one who wants to relive Sodom and Gomorrah."

Realization dawned on Kirk as he screamed, "Is _that_  what this is about?!"

"I find you disgusting," Finnegan spat, "I feel the same about the Vulcan, don't get me wrong, but...it was just too  _easy_ getting you here!" he said with off-putting glee.

"Spock," Kirk whispered desperately. 

"That's enough out of you," Finnegan said with a sudden sharpness, kicking Kirk in the face.

Blood trickled out of Kirk's mouth and his head drooped, causing Finnegan to laugh mercilessly. "You are so  _weak!_ " he cried, kicking Kirk in the ribs, causing him to keel over. Inexplicably, Finnegan fell to the ground in front of Kirk, and his lackeys followed suit.

" _That_ will be enough of that," said a beautifully familiar voice.

"Spock!" Kirk cried. He attempted to run up and greet him, but his forgotten bondage held him forcefully back. 

"Hold  _still!"_ McCoy grumbled, starting to untie his friend.

"Bones!" 

"Yeah, yeah, happy fucking birthday. Now hold  _still_."

"Yes, Mother."

McCoy managed to get Kirk out and helped him to his feet. Kirk's eyes met Spock's and he wrapped him into a crippling embrace, until he himself cringed from the pressure added to his incredible pain.

"Jim, are you alright?" Spock said softly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm--"

"A goddamn liar. The police are on their way, and they're bringing an ambulance."

"Bones, I'm--" a sudden surge of pain washed over him, so he decided to change the subject. "How  _did_ you guys find me anyway?"

"We conducted a search, to no avail. Then Leonard remembered that he installed some sort of--"

"Shut it!" McCoy whispered.

Kirk was baffled. "What did you install, Bones?"

McCoy sighed, shooting Spock a distasteful look, "A tracking device. In your watch. I calibrated mine so that it could find yours. So I guess you can say that I'm  _watching_ you. We're just lucky the damn thing didn't break."

Kirk laughed at his watch joke, but was a bit indignant on this invasion of privacy. "Why did you--"

"Did you think I was going to let you keep track of yourself after you got wasted and ended up buck-ass nude in the middle of fucking  _nowhere?"_

 _  
_Kirk glanced sheepishly at Spock. His face was the same as usual, although his customary brow was raised. "I, umm...got a little crazy. Rough time, huge party, first experience with alcohol. You know," he said. "I'm sorry," he added.

"You should not regret the action, for it is the reason we have found you."

"You really are too good to me," Kirk said, laughing until his bruised ribs stopped him. "Now," he breathed, "Where is that ambulance?"

____________________ 


	10. Epilogue

"The doctor says you are clear to go. Come on," Winona said gently, helping her son up with a warm smile. "There's a surprise waiting for you at home," she added with playful mischief.

Kirk rolled his eyes, expecting an array of get well cards, balloons, and the like.  _I wasn't_ that  _hurt_ , he griped mentally. When Kirk entered the house, his expectations were met in abundance, however his stomach jumped and he had a strong feeling the gifts weren't the surprise after all.

"Spock!" he said, elated, "Aren't you supposed to be at school?"

"There was a more important matter to which I felt obliged to attend," he responded, adjusting his position on the couch to make room.

"Truancy, Spock?" Kirk teased, flopping beside his pointed-eared boyfriend. "I guess I'm a bad influence," he ribbed, tossing a casual arm around Spock's shoulders.

"Jim?"

"Yes?"

"What were you going to do at the dance?"

Kirk looked down, bashful. "Well, uh...I was going to get the book you got me out of the car and use it to say something."

Spock's brow was a curious one, so he asked, "What is it that you were going to say? And why did it require the novel I purchased?"

Kirk's face was burning as he looked away. "I don't know."

Spock, although disappointed, decided to drop the subject. "Oh," he said softly.

Kirk gazed at Spock, and was inspired to jump up off the couch. Brandishing an imagined book, Kirk said, "Everybody gather 'round! Have I got your attention? Good."

"Jim, there is no one pre--"

"My boyfriend," he began, pointing to Spock, "Got me this book for Christmas. A marvel, isn't it?" he flipped an imaginary page, shaking slightly, and read, "'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.' Ain't that the truth? For me it was the best time because I was with him, but the worst because I was...afraid."

Spock's eyes softened. "Jim--"

"But I'm not afraid anymore. And I just wanted everyone to know, especially him, that I," he breathed in deeply, quivering, "love him." There was a silence, and Kirk shot Spock a desperate look, hoping to find some assurance that he didn't just make a complete fool out of himself.

Spock rose to meet his boyfriend. "That announcement, though it was what some may call 'touching,' was unneccessary; I was aware of your feelings." He noted that Kirk was still shaking and added, "Jim, you musn't be so nervous. You know that the feelings are mutual." Spock formed their hands into a Vulcan kiss and Kirk blushed madly.

"I just wanted everyone to know."

"Unneccesary; as long as we are not afraid of them knowing."

"They'll figure it out in time, we've never been  _that_ subtle anyway."

Ignoring that last comment, Spock said, "You really must sit down. You have just been released from the hospital and undoubtedly require rest."

"Spock, I'm fine--"

" _Sit._ "

Kirk reluctantly obeyed, flopping onto the couch.  _Whipped_ , Bones mocked in his thoughts. Kirk laughed. Being whipped by that elegant and cryptic Vulcan was not a bad place to be in. 

"I have something prepared for you," Spock said, walking into the kitchen and returning with two mugs.

"What's this?" Kirk asked, curious as he accepted a mug.

"English Breakfast tea. I believe it is a particular favorite of yours."

"You are absolutely incredible," Kirk marveled, getting up and kissing his Vulcan.

"You really must sit down," said Spock with absolutely no authority.

"Only if you sit with me."

Spock nodded, and they sat side by side, drinking their tea. They sat in a loving silence until Kirk asked, "Do you remember how you said you didn't think happiness was a warm gun?"

There was Spock's brow again, surprised by Kirk's sudden question. 

"Well," Kirk said, pulling Spock close to him, "I have a strong suspicion that happiness is a warm Vulcan."

Spock's ears turned jade as Kirk smiled fondly and kissed his beautifully-structured cheek.

____________________


End file.
